National Infertility Awareness Week brings a time for reflection, empathy, and understanding for those on a journey that can be full of ups and downs. For many couples, the path to parenthood is fraught with challenges, heartaches, and unexpected detours.
When we embarked on our journey to parenthood, we never imagined the twists and turns it would take over the next eight years. Positive pregnancy tests and joyous early ultrasounds became overshadowed by setback after setback and eventually the profound losses of our sons Hudson and DJ, as well as the disappointment of an unsuccessful third IVF transfer. Yet, amidst the pain, there is also resilience, hope, and a determination to share our story to raise awareness and support for others facing similar struggles.
Losing a child at any stage of pregnancy is a pain that cuts deep into the soul. The anticipation, the dreams, and the overwhelming love that parents feel for their unborn child are shattered in an instant. Our hearts shattered when we said goodbye to Hudson at 32 weeks and DJ at 14 weeks when they were called home. As we reflect on our two losses and one failed transfer years later, you can’t help but think about what your family would look like. Each milestone that passes adds up to a grief that can feel insurmountable at times.
There is hope though. It’s possible to find that hope in darkness. Despite the setbacks and heartaches, we refused to lose hope. After we lost Hudson, we embraced a mantra rooted in hope and resilience: “Just Keep Going.” Our journey to parenthood may have taken unexpected turns, but we remain steadfast in our belief that there was hope, even when it felt impossible to do so. With that hope came us facing the reality of our final healthy embryo for transfer. We leaned on that mantra and decided to go for it. A successful transfer turned into one ultrasound and doctor visit after another where we could breathe a little deeper and then, the unmistakable cry of a newborn baby.
Mac, our rainbow baby, our miracle. From the moment he entered our lives, he brought with him a sense of joy, a sense of wonder, and a sense of completeness that we had longed for. With his infectious laughter and boundless energy, Mac has filled our days with love and light, reminding us that even in the darkest of times, there is always hope. As Mac grows and flourishes before our eyes, we can't help but wonder what the future holds. Our journey as parents has been marked by both joy and sorrow. We may never fully understand why we were chosen to walk this path, but we take comfort in knowing that we are not alone and want others to know they are not alone. With his brothers watching over us from above, and Mac by our side, we face the future with hope, with courage, and with an unwavering belief in the power of hope.
- Andrew and Lauren